Connections
by UniDagger
Summary: How would the fates have brought Tara & Willow together, If Tara hadnt attend college? Deals with abuse.


Author: UniDagger

Title: Connections

Email: sj10113@alltel.net  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
Distribution: Just let me know.  
Spoilers: none  
Pairing: W/T, B/S, X/A…you know, the usual *G*  
Rating: PG-13 (has abusive situation, not too graphic though)  
Disclaimers: Joss and Co. own all.  
Summary: If Tara never went to attend college at Sunnydale…how would the fates have helped the soul-mates meet?

NOTE: No bunnies, and no strange men with cheese slices appearing for no reason.

Tara pulled the stack of mail from the mailbox and shuffled through the envelopes as she headed back towards the house. Half way there, she froze as she stared at the one addressed to her from the Sunnydale Community College. With shaking hands she tucked the stack under her arm, and opened the envelope. "….to inform you of your acceptance…." Tara read the words over and over. They had accepted her? An uncommon smile started to grace her lips, before quickly withering.

With a sad sigh, the girl tucked the letter back into the envelope and entered the house. As she shut the door, her father looked up from his recliner and set the paper down that he'd been reading. "Took you long enough. Can't you do anything without dragging your feet?" He demanded angrily. 

"I-Im s-s-sorry." She quickly walked to him and handed the stack of mail to him and turned to go to the kitchen to start dinner. "Excuse me?!"

His voice made her jump, and she spun around, "F-father?" Her hands began trembling, she hated when he was in moods like this. She never knew what would set him off.

"Hand me the letter in your hand."

"B-but its mine." She whispered weakly, unable to stop herself. She cringed inwardly as the words left her lips. In a rage, the man slammed the foot rest down and advanced on the cowering girl. He grabbed her roughly by the back of the neck and snarled in her face. "Are you back talking me? After everything I've done for you, you dare speak to me like that? You ungrateful brat."

Tears welled up in her eyes, "No. No. Please..I-I didn't mean…"

Her father snatched the envelope from her grasp and pushed her back into the wall. He ripped the paper out and stared at the words. Tara stood waiting, her head down and eyes staring at the floor. She couldn't stop shaking.

Slowly, her father wadded up the paper and dropped it on the floor. "You think they really want you?" He said in a harsh, but quiet tone. "Heh. They don't want a demon around decent people. The only people who want someone like you around…who will _let_ someone like you be around..is me and your brother. And yet you behave so disrespectfully towards us. I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Tara." He stepped closer to his daughter.

"I-Im sorry." She whimpered. If she could have escaped through the wall, she would have. She waited for his hand to strike her, but it never came. Instead, he walked back to his chair. "Get out of my sight. You disappoint me. You're brother will be home soon. You have a dinner to fix."

"Y-yes, sir."

He picked up the paper and returned to reading as Tara fled to the empty kitchen. Tears flowed as she began to prepare her family's meal. She cursed at herself. _"Why do I always make him angry? Why can't I be like…?"_ Things had been better when her mother was alive. So much better! The loneliness in the young girl's heart was too much for her to bear sometimes. _"At least tomorrow is Monday and I can go to work."_ She sighed. Monday's were always good. It meant she could leave the house. And she didn't have to be around….them. Guilt spread through her at the thought, but she couldn't stop it. She knew they were right. She wasn't normal. She was lucky they hadn't thrown her out on the street. Besides no one would ever be able to love someone like her.

*****

Willow walked down one of the huge halls of the college, thrilled beyond measure. Her step had a bounce in it that was almost contagious and people couldn't help but smile when they saw the happy red head. She reached the door to her room and opened it. Her best friend, Buffy was just finishing unpacking. She turned as Willow entered the room, and smiled. "This is so much better! We should have been room mates to begin with, Will."

Willow beamed at her and walked over to give her a hug before handing over the cup of mocha she carried. "It'll be great. Like one big slumber party only with studying instead of slumbering." She bounced down on her bed and took the lid off of her own cup of mocha. "Hey, I'm going to go to the computer lab later, want to come?"

Buffy grimaced. "I wish I could, but Giles called." Willow smiled and shrugged, "No rest for the hero." 

Buffy grinned. "No, And here I thought it was 'no rest for the wicked'. Maybe I should start being bad." Willow's eyes twinkled as she said, "But if you were bad…would that mean you'd have to slay yourself?" Buffy thought about it. "Possibly. I think that would be easier than taking Prof Johnsons' Chemistry class."

"You'll do fine." Willow reassured her as someone knocked on the door.

Buffy hollered 'come in', and Xander and Anya entered carrying two large pizzas. "Food!" Willow jumped up to help them find a place to put the munchies.

"How are our new roomies doing?" Xander asked as he sat down on the edge of Willow's bed. "Starving." Buffy answered, as she pulled a slice of tomato-y goodness from the box. "Then Super-Xander has saved the day yet once more…again….uh…" He shrugged and reached for a soda from the bag Anya was holding.

"So, any slayer business happening tonight?" Anya asked. "Mmm." Buffy replied, her lips around the slice. "She has to go see Giles." Willow supplied, Buffy nodding her thanks as she tried to fight off a stringy cheese monster. After the pizza had been satisfactorily devoured, and Buffy realized she was late to meet with Giles, they all agreed to meet the next evening for a movie before going on patrol. 

Willow walked Buffy to the parking lot then continued on to the computer lab. The computers greeted her with a low hum as she entered the brightly fluorescent-lit room. She nodded or smiled to some of the other students, then found her way to a station.

****

Part Two

Amanda watched Tara as she punched in the numbers on the keyboard, glancing at the invoices in front of her. She reeked of sadness and it broke the woman's heart to see her so cowed. She blamed that bastard of a father of hers. She'd met him only a couple times, but it was obvious the way the young woman would start stuttering and trembling when he was around, that he was far from a decent man.

"If I had half the power in me that she does," Amanda thought, sweeping the black bangs from her eyes, "I'd put a spell on him. Turn him into a bug and step on him. And good riddance!" Amanda sighed angrily.

Tara jumped at the sound, and seeing the look on her boss's face, her stomach sank. "I-I'm sorry…I didn't…..Did I do…?" Momentarily confused at the girls reaction, she quickly realized she'd been frowning. "Oh no, dear. You're fine. No, I …I'm sorry. I was thinking of something. In fact, I think I forgot why I cam in here." She smiled, trying to put her ease. Tara gave a small smile back.

"Oh, I remember." Amanda continued. "I wanted to know if you'd like to go out tonight with me and a few friends. That is…if you don't mind hanging with a bunch of 'old lesbians'." She laughed. "You're not old." Tara grinned.

"So?"

The smile flittered away, and Tara looked down at her hands. "I-I can't." Amanda sighed and walked around the desk to stand beside her, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Tara. Hon. You're an adult. A very young, and attractive adult. You need to get out of that house and meet people. Live a little!"

Tara didn't respond. Her hands clasped and unclasped till Amanda placed her hands on them as she knelt down to look into the girls eyes. "Tara. I know you haven't told me…things. But, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. I think you're father is – "

"Don't!" Tara interrupted her, pleading.

"Tara, you don't deserve to be treated badly. You're a wonderful sweet girl!"

"You don't know that. You don't know me." Tara yelled, a little louder than she'd intended. "I-I'm s-sorry." She stood to run out but Amanda grabbed her arm and pulled Tara into a hug, holding her till the girl stopped fighting and finally allowed herself to cry.

When the tears had lessened, Amanda whispered, "Let me help you, Tara." The girl sniffled, then shook her head. "No one can help me."

"No. You're Tara. No one can help you." Amanda sighed. Tara swallowed hard, she hadn't actually expected to be agreed with. Amanda squeezed her tighter and added, "Not when you wont let them."

****

"I'm telling you it's the perfect solution to your problem."

"Amanda. I can't get a computer. Or the Internet."

"Come on, Tara. I don't pay you that bad a wage do I?" Amanda grinned over her lunch. Tara was sitting across the table from her, pulling out a peanut butter sandwich from a small brown sack. She smiled back, "Of course not. You're very fair."

"Fair?" Amanda frowned. "I don't think fair is a good word in this context."

"Of course it is. I mean..you-you're great. Th-that is, you gave me a job and you p-pay me more than I'm worth – "

"Stop that."

"I'm very – w-what? S-stop what?" Tara looked at her, confused.

Amanda took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You always put yourself down, like you don't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us. And don't shrug your shoulders at me missy."

"I'm sorry."

"No sorries." Amanda told her, softer. She kicked herself mentally. She hadn't meant to sound like she was coming down on the girl_. Way to squish the already flat spirits, ya moron!_ "Tara, look. If I thought you weren't capable and skilled to do my books and help run this store, I wouldn't have kept you on. And you are worth what I pay, you're worth more even. If you got your degree I'd have to pay you twice as much."

"No worry about that happening." Tara mumbled, then froze. She hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"I'd pay you triple what I'm paying. You are as worthy as every other human on this planet."

Tara sucked in air, as if she'd been kicked. Maybe working wasn't such a hot idea, she told herself. How long could she keep her secret from Amanda? It wouldn't be very long till her birthday was here. "Tara?"

Amanda poked at her salad, then looked at Tara. "Tara. I have a lot of theories about you in my head. One day, I know you'll trust me enough, I hope, to tell me what is going on. Tell you what, I just got a new laptop..oh, and remind me to dig out the receipt to give you for the files, later…so if you want to buy the old one, I can let you make payments. I can deduct it from your check so – "

"No!" Tara's eyes grew wide with fear.

"What? Why..it doesn't have to be a large payment. I'm not gonna gouge your pocket book." Amanda told her, trying desperately to get a smile. Why is she terrified of having money deducted? A thought crossed her mind then came back and kicked her when she ignored it. "It's him."

Tara shoved her uneaten sandwich back in the sack and stood up. "I should get started on this months invoices."

"Tara, stop." Amanda ordered softly as Tara turned to walk out of the break room. "Does your father take your check? He controls everything, doesn't he? That why the only lunch you ever have is peanut butter? And why you never go with the us on office lunches."

Tara closed her eyes. What could she say? She couldn't tell her the truth. That yes, she had to hand over the entire check the second she walked in the door. That no, she couldn't save money for a computer, or anything else for that matter. That if she wanted so much as a baggie for her sandwich she had to plead for it? She couldn't breathe without his blessing!

**"Tara, you've got a call on line 4." Linda, the receptionists voice said from the intercom.**

"I h-have t-to go."

"Tara?"

"Yes?" 

"When you get off the phone, come see me in my office please." Amanda asked, standing up. She noticed the girls' shoulders drop, but before she could explain Tara had darted out. "Great, now she'll think I want to fire her. God, I'd like to go rip his head off."

"Mmm. You always turn me on when you talk like that." A voice said huskily from the doorway.

Amanda whirled around, a big smile on her face as she stared at the woman who was leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed over her chest. Amanda smiled as thoughts of pulling that jean jacket off and running fingers through her long blonde air flashed through her mind. "Vickie! When did you get into town? And why didn't you tell me you were going to be early?" She walked over and slid into the embracing arms that had opened up to her.

Vickie was nearly five inches taller than Amanda, so she had to bend her neck to plant a kiss on her partner's lips. When she withdrew, she smirked, "Can't tell you everything. Besides, how am I going to catch you cheating on me if I tell you my exact schedule?" She teased.

"Oh dear, you're on to us. I shall have to tell my sexy love slave that we will have to be more sneaky from here on out." Amanda winked.

"Oooh! Love Slave? Care to share?"

Amanda pretended to consider it then shook her head. "Nope, I think I don't want to share you with anyone. So.." Amanda grew serious, "Coming home early….that doesn't mean you have to leave early too does it?" 

Vickie wrapped her arm around Amanda's waist and walked down the hall with her to Amanda's office. "Nope. I have no more conferences for the rest of the month, and all my appointments are for the local office."

She watched her lover do the math, then chuckled when Amanda's eyes lit up. "That's…that's three weeks? I get you for three whole weeks?" Vickie laughed, "That is unless you think you'll grow tired of me." Amanda walked behind the desk and sat down. "Oh, well. I think I will find a way to tolerate having you around."

"Oh, really?" Vickie raised an eyebrow.

Before Amanda could go into more detail, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." Tara opened the door then ducked her down when she saw someone else was in the room. "I-I'm sorry. You asked… I can come back l-later." She started to retreat into the hall but Amanda stopped her.

"No, please. Come in, Tara. Vickie, this is my accountant. I hired her while you were in Tokyo four months ago. She's my right hand girl." Amanda smiled. Tara blushed and gave a slight smile. "And this golden goddess, is Vickie, my life-partner. She just got in from Cairo."

"Pleased to meet you, Tara. I've heard a lot about you." Vickie told her, warmly.

"P-pleased to meet you." Tara responded with a smile, still not making eye contact.

Amanda reached under the desk and pulled out a case. "Here Tara. I want you to take this laptop."

"I cant – "

Amanda held up her hand. "I will not take no for an answer. I'm going to call and have Internet provided for you but since I know you hate having anything given to you, I'm going to have it deducted from your raise."

"What? I don't.. What raise?"

"I won't mark anything on the check. Your father doesn't have to know. And when he demands, I know he doesn't know how to '_ask_' for anything," Amanda huffed, " you tell him that I told you I needed more work done, and this way you could do it at home for me, after hours. You tell him you're just using the laptop, that it's not yours. Understand?"

"I-I g-guess so." Tara stood there, looking confused. "You….need me…to do more work?"

Amanda sighed and raised an eyebrow. "You don't get the sneaky thing real well do you, hon?" Vickie chuckled softly, tilted her head towards Tara, "She's giving you the laptop, hon. But to keep you from having problems with your ass of a father, she's giving you an alibi."

"That's right. And I have only one condition." Amanda paused, waiting for Tara to look up at her. "W-which is?" Tara stammered.

"You have to go into a chat room, and talk to someone. And you have to report back to me **_all_** the juicy details." Amanda grinned broadly. Tara gulped. "Ch-chat?" 

"Trust me on this. So, is it a deal?"

Tara grimaced, having an inner battle. "I-if he calls…you'll t-tell him…"

"I'll lie my ass off and he'll believe every word of it." Amanda promised.

Tara chewed on her bottom lip a second, then nodded. In almost a whisper, she said, "D-deal."

"Oh gods!" Vickie groaned.

"What?" Amanda asked, a huge grin plastered on her face, at the same time as Tara.

Vickie winked at Tara, "Look at her. She's gloating. She's going to be impossible all night now." "O-oh." Tara exhaled then smiled. 

"Here, take your new toy. In fact, I think we'll close a little early today." She smiled suggestively at her lover, then looked back at Tara to see her pale. "Tara?"

"I'd..r-rather work. Please."

Amanda stood and walked over to Tara and hugged her. "I understand. In fact, from here on out, if you need more time to 'not be home', why don't you just say you had to work over time, or close, or whatever. I'll back whatever you say."

"Thank you." 

Amanda smiled and hugged Tara again, then handed her the laptop. "Go. Have fun. And uh…close the door on your way out?" She turned to look at Vicki, missing Tara's blush as she ducked out of the room.

******

Willow sat down at the computer and punched in her password. She rubbed her wrist and hand, wincing as pain shot up her arm. Why can't I learn to duck or at least move faster when the vampires start swinging? She had made several sweeps with Buffy and they had about decided it was going to be a no-show night, when two vampires had jumped at them from behind a Moslem. Willow had wondered what the point to that was. Do they really want their victims to die from fright before they could suck their blood or was it just a sick thrill to see who gets the most screams for the week? Or maybe, she thought, it changes the taste of the blood. Like an egg, it tastes different each different way that its cooked: boiled, fried, scrambled…. She should ask Angel next time she saw him.

Buffy had blocked the first vampires' fist, grabbing him and flipping him over her hip. He had grabbed her with his other arm bringing her down with him. "Hey! What kind of girl do you think I am?" The slayer demanded, rolling off of him. He snarled and jumped up, just in time to get staked in the heart. Meanwhile, the other vampire had gone after Willow. She tried to stake him, but he had grabbed her wrist, giving it a painful twist and the stake had fallen uselessly to the ground. 

Willow's eyes had grown wide when the vampire grabbed her throat with his other hand, cutting of the spell she had started to cast. He released her wrist and grabbed her thigh, lifting her into the air and throwing her. Willow tried to scream and kick but once he'd thrown her all she could manage was landing, which was assisted by a strong gravitational force. She landed hard and gasped for air.

Before she could even think of moving, she was jerked up and the vampire's teeth were pressing on her neck. "No, please!" She'd gasped. "Please?!" The vampire paused long enough to mock her. Which gave Buffy the extra second to leave her freshly dusted vampire and race to her friends' aid. As the vampire pulled Willow towards him again, Buffy tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me? But you really don't want to bite her there. She tends not to wash her neck." 

The vampire jerked his head back to stare incredulously at the slayer and received a punch to the jaw. He released Willow and swung at Buffy, snarling angrily. The slayer kneed him in the stomach, bringing her fist crashing against the back of his skull, before pushing him backwards. The vampire landed on his back and looked up as a fist drove a wooden stake through his chest. "But.." He poofed.

"Willow?" Buffy turned to check on her friend. Willow stood up painfully, holding her wrist. She scowled at her friend, "I do too wash my neck." Buffy laughed. "Come on, Will. I think you've caused enough damage tonight. Let's head back."

"Me? I didn't do anything. Except fly. Sort of. Well, I landed anyway."

"Oh yeah, I saw that. You might want to work on your dismount."

Willow cocked her head and grinned, "Thanks. I'll try to remember that next time I fly Vamp-Air." Buffy put her arm around her shoulders. "Let go. Or do you think you should see a doctor?" She asked Willow, noticing she was still holding her wrist. 

"I'm ok. Hey, actually, I think I'll go to the computer lab. I'm not really tired yet and I want to check my email. Maybe go into the chat rooms. You want to come?"

"What's wrong with your laptop?" Buffy asked.

"Nothing, I just like going to the lab. It sounds nifty. 'I'm going to the Lab.' See?" After getting a look from her friend, she shrugged, "It's a geek thing. You really don't want to come?"

"Maybe later. I'm thinking hot shower and ice cream. Not at the same time though."

So here she sat, her wrist throbbing, and only a few people in the lab with her. "Hope someone is online, I'm bored." She thought to herself. With a sigh, Willow placed her hands gently on the keyboard and entered a URL. She entered her favorite chat room and said hello to the people in the Rainbow Gayzer. She checked her email then looked back at the chat room. She stared at one of the names on the list. "Hmm. Don't think I've seen her before."

****

Tara clicked on a link, then another one. She was utterly lost and confused but had somehow finally ended up in a chat room. "Ok. I guess that works. Now what? Do I just interrupt and say hi?" She squinted trying to read everything. Her hands trembled slightly as she rubbed her eyebrow, trying to fathom what a/s/l and lol and a million other nonsense letters that sprang up, meant. Was this some kind of secret code?

After the first few minutes of panic, she finally got frustrated. "I can't do this." Just as Tara inched the cursor towards the 'x', a small private message window popped up. 

WillowTree: Hello TaraBear. Noticed you come in and that you've been kinda quiet…are you new? I don't think I've seen you around. J 

Tara's heart began to pound and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. With shaking hands she began to type.

TaraBear: Hi. Yes, I'm new. I'm sorry. I am not really sure what to do. I've never been in a chat room before.

WillowTree: np! Everyone is a newbie at sometime.

TaraBear: I don't understand np!?

WillowTree: Oh, that means 'no problem'. When chatting its easier to abbreviate words, phrases and actions. There are lots of them, so don't worry if you don't remember them all at first. I am online a lot so if you ever need help, just ask me. *G*

TaraBear: Thank you. What is *G*?

WillowTree: Um….tell ya what. Do you have an IM? (That means Instant Messenger) (and it means *grin*)

TaraBear: Oh. I don't know. 

WillowTree: LOL. That means you probably don't. Ok, open another browser and and go to this URL: www.icq.com and download the program. When you get that done, let me know and I'll walk you through the rest of it. IM's are like what you'd get if email and chat got together and had a baby. You can send messages and files and stuff to people on your buddy list.

Tara chuckled out loud, then stopped and look around. She looked back at the screen.

TaraBear: hehe. A baby huh? Ok, I think I understand. The file downloaded now so I will install it. Do I need to close out of this?

WillowTree: Nope. Go ahead and leave it up.

TaraBear: Ok. 

Tara minimized the chat window and double clicked on the program. When it finished a window popped up and walked her through getting registered. She chewed on her bottom lip then returned to the chat room.

TaraBear: Ok, I have it installed and registered.

WillowTree: Great. Now give me the number, you should see it on top the window. When I send you an authorization, just hit accept and I will placed on the your list. Then all you have to do is double click my name, and you can send me a message…any time night or day, and I'll get it the next time I sign on. Cool huh? BRB

TaraBear: Yes. Cool. BRB??

Tara jumped as her computer said "uhoh" and a little yellow thing started blinking. She double clicked it and there was the request. She hit 'accept' and then the sound of someone knocking on the door sounded. She grinned. This was kind of cute! Another 'uhoh' and a yellow blinkie. She clicked it and was from Willow.

WillowBear: Great, you did it. Now, I'm going to send you a file, open it in a text program and you can read it. It's a list of all the different "chat lingo".

TaraBear: Thank you!

Two hours later, Tara stretched and looked at the clock. "Oh no! It's one a.m.!!" She quickly started typing.

TaraBear: I just looked at the time, Willow. I'm going to be so dead. I hate to do this but I really should get to bed.

WillowBear: LOL. I do that a lot. In fact, I have psych class in the morning so I should go too. Will you be online tomorrow? I'd love to talk with you again.

TaraBear: I would like that too. I don't know when I'll always be able to come online, but I will try very hard. Thank you for helping me. It's not so scary anymore.

WillowTree: You're very welcome, Tara. I'm just a msg away if you ever need me. Sleep well. Night.

TaraBear: Good night.

As Tara slipped under the covers of her bed, she couldn't help but smile. She had the strangest feeling of… "What?" She asked herself. Happiness? She thought for a bit. She had made a friend. Kind of. She sighed. At least she didn't have to worry about Willow finding out what she really was. Pushing that awful thought away, she thought of WillowTree and closed her eyes.

****

Part Three

Tara rushed into the office twenty minutes late. She'd over slept and had been forced to rush to get breakfast for her father and brother, and their lunches. She hadn't been able to get into the bathroom until they had left; and she'd been so tired, she'd actually fallen asleep standing up in the shower.

As she rushed in, she saw Amanda raise an eyebrow and smirk at her, a cup of coffee in her hand. "I-I'm so sorry, Amanda! I over slept. I'm sorry." Amanda laughed, "I take it that means you found a chat room. Addictive isn't it!"

Tara laughed. "You're evil. You should have warned me." She set her case on the floor and poured a cup of coffee for herself.

"And ruin my fun? Not a chance. So tell me all about it." 

Tara smiled shyly and started telling her how she'd almost chickened out, but then this nice girl had helped her out.

*****

Willow yawned and tried to focus her eyes. A smile played on her lips as she forgot about the test paper in front of her; that is until Buffy looked over and poked her. Willow jumped, sending her pencil flying through the air. Buffy snorted and buried her head over her test paper.

"Is there a problem, Miss Rosenberg?"

"Uh…n-no..just..you know. All excited about taking this test and…uh…too much coffee?" She giggled nervously as she retrieved her pencil and sent a burning glare at her friend.

After their last class, the two girls went back to their room. "What movie should we see tonight?" Buffy asked as she rummaged through her closet. 

"What? Oh yeah! Darn, I forgot all about the movie!" Willow groaned.

"You don't want to go? Are you feeling ok?" Buffy asked, pausing in her search for an elusive boot.

"Wellll…." Willow shrugged. "It's just…I was hoping…. You guys wouldn't mind if I bailed, would you?"

"What's his name?" Buffy demanded, grinning broadly.

"Oh..no.. It's not a.. I mean, it's a but there isn't I mean…." 

"I think you actually just lost me in there, Will." Buffy frowned at her. "But no, we won't mind. You go have fun at the lab. Just don't go making some kind of frank-n-puter." The slayer grinned, then dove back into the closet, coming out with a satisfied look and the missing boot in her hand.

"Oh, I'll probably use my laptop tonight. You be careful out there tonight, okay? And if you need me, call. I'll come a running."

"Thanks Will. I'll bring some munchies back."

After Buffy left, Willow crossed the room to her desk and turned on her laptop. She wondered why she was so excited. There was something about this Tara though, that made her heart fly. She knew nothing about her, but she hadn't been able to think of anything, or any one else all day.

She logged on to Internet, and waited for a connection. She frowned. She found herself thinking about girls…but that wasn't… "That's not me, is it? Don't I like the boys?" She turned her head and her eyes fell on her Tomb Raider poster, suddenly all she could see was Angelina Jolie's lips; her breathing quickened.

"Oh my god!" She clapped her hands over her eyes. "How could I think that?? Well, she is gorgeous.. NONO, bad Willow, stop that!!"

"Uh Oh!" Her icq blinked at her. Forgetting her dilemma temporarily, she smiled. TaraBear was online.

****

Tara sat tapping her fingers on her desk. She checked her ICQ. Yep, still connected. "Gods, I'm pathetic." 

Knock, knock

A grin leapt from her lips as she saw WillowTree appear on her list.

Tara opened a message a message window and sent a hello before she realized what she was doing. Suddenly doubt shot through her. What if Willow didn't really want to talk to her? Maybe she was just being nice. Maybe she seemed totally desperate and..

"Maybe I'm crazy!" She said aloud.

Uh-Oh.

WillowTree: Hey there, Tara! How are you? *hugs* Sorry I'm late. I had forgotten I told my friends I'd go see a movie and I had to tell them I was bugging out. How was your day?

Willow hit enter, and sat there looking at her message. Hugs? Hugs?! "Oh my god. I said hugs. I never say hugs to anyone. She's gonna think I'm some weird freak!"

Tara smiled at the 'hugs', then frowned as she read on. She had canceled going to the movies? Why would she do that?

TaraBear: *hugs back* It was okay. Better now *s* Why didn't you go to the movie? If you don't mind me asking. I don't mean to be nosey. Sorry.

WillowTree: Well I told you I'd be online.

TaraBear: You didn't go because of me?

"Oh gods…now she thinks I'm some stalker or something." Willow cringed. Why was she always so honest? 

WillowTree: Um, I don't mean to freak you out…I just….I liked talking with you. And I wanted to again. I can go out with them anytime. You don't think I'm weird do you? 

TaraBear: No, of course not. I'm just surprised you actually canceled something to talk to me.

WillowTree: Why are you surprised?

TaraBear: I just….never had anyone do that before.

Even as Tara was thinking "why am I telling her this?", she hit the send button. When Willow didn't answer right away, she started to panic. "She's going to think I'm so pathetic!"

WillowTree: I'm sorry. *hugs*

TaraBear: *hugs back* Why do you say sorry?

WillowTree: Because I can't imagine anyone not doing something for you. 

Tara's eyes misted up. Willow was so sweet. She shook her head, not sure what all the feelings circling inside her meant.

TaraBear: It's ok. Thank you.

WillowTree: For what?

TaraBear: For being so nice to me.

WillowTree: Are you going to tell me no one is nice to you either?

Willow frowned. She waited for an answer, almost sensing the mental struggle Tara was going through. A pain went through her, as feelings of sadness and fear rushed from the monitor. Willow tried to detach herself, taking deep breaths. "How can anyone not be good to you?" She said aloud.

WillowTree: Tara? No one should be mean to you, or mistreat you. You don't deserve that. 

TaraBear: …heh

WillowTree: I mean it. You're too beautiful of a person to have that happen.  


TaraBear: You don't know that, Willow. You don't know anything about me.

WillowTree: I know enough. And I feel things Tara. I can feel your soul and how beautiful it is. It makes me want to know you, be there for you. Always.

Willow gasped and slapped her forehead. Had she really just sent that? She looked again. "Oh gods!"

WillowTree: Oh gods. I just realized I probably sent you screaming for the hills. You'll probably never want to speak to this crazy person again. *sigh* I guess I am weirdo. 

TaraBear: You're not a weirdo.

WillowTree: Hey! You didn't go screaming to the hills?

TaraBear: lol. It's too dark outside. I couldn't find them.

Willow sighed in relief, kicking herself for almost blowing it.

TaraBear: So..how was school today?

Willow read the message. "My day? My day was great except I kept thinking about you and started fantasizing about Angelina Jolie so now I think I'm gay…sheesh!" She began typing and told her about her classes.

When Buffy came in, covered in dirt and leaves, Willow was still chatting. She looked up from the laptop and stared at Buffy. "Buffy?"

"Yes?" Buffy answered tiredly.

"You're growing a tree."

"Funny, Will." She sighed and fell back on the bed, legs splayed on the floor and arms wide. Willow quickly typed brb, and went over to pull off the slayer's boots for her. "Hard night with the slayage?"

"You wouldn't believe me if you'd been there, Willow. Ya know," She raised a leg to help Willow pull off the boot, "Just when I think I've seen everything, something comes along and totally wigs me out."

Willow pulled off the second boot, almost falling over when it finally slid off Buffys foot, "But it's gone right? Or do we need to activate the bat signal?"

"No, no. It's all done. Ugh. I need a bath." Buffy moaned and groaned and pulled herself up, grabbed her bathroom stuff and shuffled out of the room. Willow returned to the computer. 

WillowTree: Back. Sorry about that. My friend came in and I had to help her get her boots off. Hard night at work for her. Poor thing is exhausted. (Hard work for me too…I don't know how she gets those boots on in the first place!)

TaraBear: LMAO. 

TaraBear: You're a very good friend.

WillowTree: Yes, I'm one of the best friends in the world. And I say that in all modesty.

TaraBear: Hehe. Very humble. I could use a friend like you. *G*

WillowTree: You have a friend like me. Well not so much the "like" as I _am_ the real deal. Lucky You. Hehe.

TaraBear: You mean that? You want to be friends? With me?

WillowTree: Very much so. I already consider you my friend. That ok?

TaraBear: That is very ok. ***BG***

Part 4

Willow stood staring up at the moonlight, thinking about Tara. She wondered what she looked like. "I bet she has blonde hair." She mused to herself. "I wish we could meet. I've never felt a connection like that before. Wow, I am crazy. We've been talking online for two months now and I'm wanting to meet her. She's probably not even gay." 

Willow almost choked as she realized what she was thinking. "That would matter why?" Suddenly she realized her name was being called…well, screamed was more accurate. She turned to look as a demon smashed into her sending her flying.

She bounced off a tree and slumped to the ground. She wavered as she tried to sit up, dizziness and blackness threatened to take over. The demon decided to try and use her as a hostage, or at least a shield, and doubled back to grab her. Xander raced up and hit him with a branch that shattered. He pinwheeled away, then made to tackle the big bad. The demon snarled and pushed Xander away. Buffy raced up and raised her sword, chopping his head off as he reached again for Willow.

Willow looked up at Buffy, covered in Demon Goo. "Ewww!"

"Well that's what you get for staring all moon eyed at the…uh…moon." She chastised, offering Willow a hand up. "Yeah, Will," Xander said catching up to them, "What's with the space out."

"Sorry. I was just thinking about some…thing that…is not important. Nope, was nothing at all."

Buffy and Xander exchanged knowing looks. Their Will was in lo-ove. "What's his name?" Xander inquired.

Willow immersed herself in brushing dirt off her clothes.

"Willow?" Buffy pushed.

Willow looked desperately for more dirt or goo.

"Willow!" Buffy and Xander said together.

Willow tried to look up at them innocently, but saw they weren't buying it. She sighed and let her shoulders sloop.

"I don't think I'm ready to tell you guys yet. I mean, you might wig out on me and I'm not ready to deal with that." Willow answered quietly, still looking down at her pants.

"Willow. We're you're friends. You can tell us anything and we won't wig, I swear. But we can wait till you're ready." Buffy told her.

Willow smiled, "Thank you."

"Shall we grab some mochas before we call it a night?" Xander suggested. He got two quick yeses and they head off as Willow asked if they thought they might have a pain-relief flavor.

****

TaraBear: So then I told her that she could have a refund if she preferred and she said I was just trying to get out of giving her what was hers. I don't get it. Isn't giving money back…giving her what was hers? Sometimes I hate working in a store. I don't do well with people. I like being back in my office the best.

WillowTree: I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Some people just can't help being rude. Did you go to that URL I sent you, with the Wicca stuff?

TaraBear: Yes, just a little bit ago. It was very interesting…too bad they are located in Texas.

WillowTree: Yeah. I joined a wicca group here at college but they suck. They don't even want to try the real stuff. It's like they are playing a game that has no connection to reality. Magic is real. Can't they see that?

TaraBear: Not everyone can see it. And a lot of people think magic is bad.

WillowTree: It's not bad. I mean, no more so than a gun or a knife…or a rock. It's a tool…what the person holding does with it…that determines whether the outcome is good or bad.

TaraBear: I agree.

TaraBear: Willow, I have to go now. I'm very sorry. I will try to talk again tomorrow. I'm sorry.

WillowTree: It's ok. I look forward to tomorrow. TTYL. Sweet dreams.

Willow frowned. Why had she had to race off so fast? "Like it's any of my business." She slapped herself mentally then decided she needed to finish her homework anyway. She shutdown the computer, then pulled her books from her backpack. Stretching, she stood and walked over to bed and stretched out. Tara. She had such a beautiful name. Willow smiled, and opened her book.

****

Part 5

Tara stared at the microwave, not really seeing it. A smile brightening her whole face. Amanda looked at her, and found herself smiling. _"Damn I'm good."_ She thought to herself. "I knew that chat room was a good idea." Her gloating got a poke in her ribs from Vickie who had come to join her for lunch.

"What's his name?" Vickie asked.

Tara came back from her dream world. "Hmmm? Who?"

Amanda looked shocked, then patted Vickie lightly on the cheek. "Oh my poor baby, is your gaydar broken again?"

"What?" Vickie did a double take. "I uh…that is." She couldn't think of a defense, so she growled and went to sit down. "Aww don't sulk. I'm sure I can fix it for you." Amanda smirked.

Tara blushed and opened the door to the microwave. She pulled out the plastic container that held pasta and vegetables and carried it to the table. Amanda had made her agree to eat the frozen meals that she had started to keep stocked in the freezer. "I don't want to walk in here one day and find that my accountant has turned into a blob of peanut butter."

Tara sat down at the table and stared at her lunch. "What's _her_ name?" Amanda asked. "Come on, come on, details!" Vickie laughed, "Don't push hon."

Tara shrugged and blushed, then quietly said, "Willow." It was the first time she'd actually said it out loud, and it felt….beautiful.

"Wow, you've got it bad." Vickie stated with a soft laugh. "So when are you two going to meet?"

"M-m-meet?" Tara gulped. She frowned as the question bounced around her mind. "Never." She finally whispered. And that word, tore at her heart.

Amanda scowled at Vickie, then patted Tara's hand. "Never say never, hon. You never know what the future may hold for you. Well, actually if you can read the signs or do a spell you could….. Hey, we could – "

"Amanda!" Vickie warned. Amanda looked at her than groaned. "Ok, ok. No playing with the fates." Then to Tara, "So where does she live?" Tara sighed, "Sunnydale."

"Sunnydale? Good lord girl, that's not but two hours away!"

Tara looked at her boss sadly. "So?"

"So. Go. Go see her!"

Tara looked at her sadly and slowly shook her head. "I can never go to her. She can never come here. He'd ruin everything." Amanda got up and wrapped her arms around the distraught girl. She hadn't meant to bring the mood down. "So talk to me, Tara. Let us help you. We can get you out of there. He has no claim to you."

Tara just sat there looking miserable, unable to say a word. She wanted to tell them, tell them everything right then and there. But the thought of how they would look at her when they learned the truth kept her lips sealed. Amanda kissed Tara on the forehead, "It's okay, hon. The time will come, and we'll be right here for you."

Tara gave the woman a smile, then began to eat her lunch. She couldn't understand why Amanda and Vickie were so nice to her. They reminded her of her mom sometimes, always looking out for her, trying to make her smile when she was sad. She wished she could talk to them. They would hate her, though, Tara was sure of it. 

That evening after she finished dinner, she cleaned up quickly and headed towards her room. "Where are you going?" Her father demanded, still staring at the weather man on t.v. "U-upstairs. A-am-manda needs m-me to – "

"Whatever. You better be getting paid for this extra work. It's pulling electricity you know. Money doesn't grow on trees, and you shouldn't expect me to have to foot the bill for that woman."

"N-no..I d-don't ex…. I….She is p-paying me." Tara put her trembling hands in skirt pocket. What am I going to do? 

"You get your chores done first. Donny's room needs cleaned. I want it done tonight." He picked up the remote and started flipping the channels.

"Y-yes…s-sir." Tara turned and headed upstairs. She walked to Donny's door and tapped on it. "D-donny. F-father wants me to c-clean your r-room."

"So get in here and do it. Just don't bother me."

She opened the door and entered. Donny was sitting at his desk, typing on the computer. Tara gathered his laundry and carried them to the laundry chute, then returned and started straightening his books. When she walked near him, he reached over and pushed her. "I said don't disturb me."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know." He glared, then with his foot he flipped the wastebasket over. "Pick that up." Tara stared at the mess, then bent down and started putting the papers and apple cores back in the trash. She finished his room, and carried the dirty dishes down to the kitchen. She set the dishes and turned around.

"You gonna just leave those there? I suppose you think I should be the one cleaning this house." Her father snapped at her. She shook her head. "No….I'll w-wash th-them. I was j-just g-going to start the l-laundry. F-first." 

He glared at her, hatred and disgust pouring off of him. He grabbed her by the hair and pushed her towards the door. She fell near the entry and climbed back up, eyes down submissvly, holding on to the wall. "Go. GO! Get your chores done. I don't like having to keep telling you that." Tara raced for the basement, glad to be away from him. She cried as she put the laundry in the washer, then got a hold of herself before slipping quietly back upstairs. It wouldn't do to make him more upset. She hated when I got like this. It was like he was just looking for a reason. "My just being alive makes him mad." She sighed.

When she stepped into the living room, the lights were off and so was the T.V. She breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he'd decided to go to bed. She walked into the kitchen and quietly washed and dried the dishes, putting them away. She returned to the basement, and waited for the laundry to finish.

*****

WillowTree: Hey, I was just about to go to bed. *G*

TaraBear: I'm sorry. I couldn't get on till now. I thought you'd be asleep already so I was just going to send a msg for you to get tomorrow.

WillowTree: I had to do some research. Are you ok?

TaraBear: Just tired. 

WillowTree: You should take a nice hot bath then go to bed.

TaraBear: I wish. It is too late though. I will go to bed though. I'm glad you were still online.

WillowTree: Me too. Sweet dreams. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

TaraBear: Thank you, Willow. You too.

Tara wiped a tear away as she stood up from the desk and climbed into bed. She hadn't wanted to say goodnight to Willow. Something made her ache inside for her. Tara sighed, feeling utterly alone in the small dark room. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to sleep.

****

Part six

Uh Oh" the ICQ sounded. Amanda paused, then finished dropping the paper into the file, before closing the drawer. She walked around Tara's desk and stared at the laptop. 

"Hmm. Do I? Or don't I? Too late, I do."

She sat down and clicked on the message.

WillowTree: Are you back yet?

TaraBear(Amanda): So..you're Willow.

WillowTree: Huh? Um. Yes?

TaraBear(Amanda): Hehe. Sorry. I am Amanda, Tara's boss. I sent her out on an errand and when your ICQ came through…well, I just had to be naughty and say hello.

WillowTree: Oh, lol. Nice to meet you. Tara has told me about you. You are a great boss, giving her the laptop and all. Thank you, btw. J 

TaraBear(Amanda): It was my pleasure. She hasn't told me too much about you even though I pry at her daily. Hehe. I'm glad she has finally met a friend. Since she has met you, she hasn't stopped smiling.

WillowTree: She wasn't happy before. 

TaraBear(Amanda): No. But I guess it's not my place to say anything (for now..grumble). So, you're in Sunnydale? Got a question for you.

******

Tara looked at the website that Willow had sent her. Yes, Angelina Jolie was definitely a hottie. Suddenly her door flew open, and her father stood there looking furious. "Why aren't you doing the homework for your brother?" Her father stood there angrily.

Tara's hands began trembling. "H-he h-has to s-study for his t-test." 

"Then why aren't you with him!?" Her father stormed in and grabbed the laptop. "No!" Tara cried out, reaching for it. "What is this trash?" He looked at it, then threw it across the room where it smashed against the wall. "Father!"

His hand caught her so hard and quick that she was sent out of the chair. She landed in a heap on the floor, sobbing, her hand going to her face. "P-please." She begged. 

"That why you got that computer? To look at girls and become a lesbian? Not bad enough you're a demon-witch?? How can you do this to me?" He kicked the chair out of the way and hauled her up roughly. He let go long enough to strike her two more times before throwing her away from him. He then turned and flipped her desk over, howling. He stood there with his fists clenched, then turned slowly to face Tara. He grabbed his daughter again, and tossed her onto the bed. He slowly pulled his leather belt off. "I've let this go on long enough."

*****

Willow stared at the ICQ. As soon has TaraBear had blinked off, she had suddenly gotten a sinking feeling in her stomach. That was thirty minutes ago. She should have been back online. What was happening? If she doesn't come back, I'm taking Amanda up on her offer. But earlier. "Like tomorrow." She said aloud.

"What, Willow?" Buffy looked up from her text book. Seeing her friends distress she quickly asked, "Will? What's wrong?"

Willow turned to look at Buffy. "I don't know. But I think it's bad." She said in a shaky voice, her hands trembling as tears started to fall. "Willow, talk to me. I've never seen you like this. What's going on?"

"Maybe….maybe it's nothing. But I don't believe that! I can feel something isn't right with her."

"Who? What are you talking about?"

Willow looked at her friend. "She's…No, first I have to tell you something else. I won't make you promise not to hate me. I know that wouldn't be fair. I just hope…you'll still…like me. I mean, I don't know…"

"Willow, spill it." Willow took a deep breath and began talking.

*******

"So that's it? You thought I would stop liking you because you're gay now?" Buffy asked frowning. Willow nodded. Buffy grinned. "Come here, knuckle head." She wrapped her arms around her best friend. "We're Scoobies. Nothing comes between us. Don't ever forget that."

Willow hugged her back. "Sorry. I just…. I know we haven't even met, but Buffy, I think I love her. And it's not like the Malcolm thing…way different. It…it's real.And, well…she's a girl, not a demon." She blushed.

Buffy grinned. "I'm happy for you, Will. I have noticed this last semester, you've been like a new person. Way happy. And listen, if your girl is in trouble, then the Scoobies are on-call. How about I drive you up there tomorrow?"

"You'd do that?"

Buffy gave her a hurt look. "We're friends Willow. Like sisters, even. I'd do anything for you." Willow hugged Buffy again. "Thank you, Buffy. I don't know what I'd have done if…" "Hey, it's ok. So, you up for that road trip?" 

Willow pulled away, a big grin on her face, "Thanks but…how about I drive? I would like to get there in one piece."

Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. "Ok, Ok."

*****

Tara picked up the phone, her hand shaking, and dialed the number for work. When it rang, she asked Linda to pass along a message to Amanda. Before she'd finished, Amanda had picked up the phone. "What's wrong, Tara? I woke up last night, feeling something was wrong with you. Are you all right?"

"I-I'm sick and won't be in for a couple days. A-a h-head c-cold. I'll be fine." She listened a moment, "Yes." She answered, then placed the phone back on the stand. She turned slowly and painfully around to face her father. "Well, another surprise. You're a good liar too. Get to your room and don't come out until it's time to make dinner." He stormed out of the house as Tara made her way to her room, tears streaming. She lay down on her bed and wept bitterly.

****

Part 7

Willow sat under a tree, waiting impatiently for Buffy to show up. Thoughts of what Tara must be going through tormenting her. She pulled a blade of grace and ran it between her fingers. "Please be ok, Tara." 

"Willow." Buffy called, waving as she ran up. The red head breathed a sigh of relief and stood up, greeting her friend with a smile. . "Sorry, Will. I swear I didn't forget. Had to finish a project in chem." Willow shrugged. "No problem."

"Hey, Xander called. I suggested they come with us…is that ok? We can swing by and pick them up." Buffy suggested. Willow nodded, "That's fine. Can we just..uh…go. Please?" Buffy laughed, "Ok. Ok. Lets get on the road.

After picking Xander and Anya up, they headed for Brampton. "So, what's the rush and secrecy? Xander asked. Willow looked at Buffy, then back at the road, her hands tightening on the steering wheel. She bit her lip, then finally brought them up to speed.

"And you thought I'd hate you, why?" Xander looked confused. "I mean, come on. The thought of two girls…Ow!" He yelped when Anya punched him in the arm. Willow groaned. "Xander!"

"Just teasing, Willster. It's cool."

"I just wasn't sure how you'd accept…me."

"Will…we grew up together. Hey…you don't think my letting you play with GI Joe did something to you, do you?"

Willow rolled her eyes and Buffy reached back and thwaped him on the head.

"Ow. Ok, ok. Just kidding. So..youre gay."

"Yes."

"Have you ever…you know…"

"Xander!" Willow and Buffy warned.

"Ok…backing up."

"You really like the idea of two girls together?" Anya asked him, an odd look that Xander felt was suspiciously close to murderous. Xander gulped and looked out of the window. "Hey was that a bunny?"

Anya yelped and buried her head in Xanders side. Buffy and Willow chuckled and shook their heads. "Very evil." Buffy mumbled.

*******

Amanda walked to the front door to lock up, when a cute red headed girl came running up, followed by two blondes and a guy. It had stared raining a few minutes before and the group rushed under the awning. She opened the door, "Sorry, we're closing."

"Is Amanda Chilton here?" The red head inquired.

"I'm Amanda."

"I'm Willow." Willow told her. Seeing the name didn't register, she repeated, "Willow..Rosenberg? I've been chatting with Tara?"

"Oh! Oh, come in. She isn't here."  


"I know."

Amanda looked funny at Willow, then nodded. Even though she was what one might consider a 'low level' witch, she could sense the power in this one. "Do you know what happened?"

Willow and the Scoobies followed the woman to a break room where they all sat down around a table. "No," Willow said, "But I have an idea. Tara has told me…well, alluded is more like it…to certain… . I don think… I mean. I think Tara is in trouble."

Amanda sighed. "It's time we got her out of there. She hasn't told me, but I think her father is abusive to her. I don't know what happened last night, but I was suddenly awakened at midnight last night with a bad feeling that Tara was….in trouble."

"That's when…." Willow took a breath, "We were online…right at midnight is when she suddenly went off. I was overwhelmed with….fear. But not mine. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Amanda nodded, patting the girls hand, "You're relatively new to Wicca, aren't you." The girl nodded. "Lots to learn." Amanda smiled.

"Can you tell us where she lives?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know. I mean I know..but..I hate for her to stay there one more night, but her father is pretty…well, not nice. I think he would be much harder on her if we went over now. Might be better to go in the morning."

"I don't want her to stay there tonight." Willow cringed at the thought, then looked at Buffy, pleadingly.

"I don't either. But she is so beaten down inside, Willow. I think she truly believes she deserves whatever he does to her. I think maybe, if you talk to her…she'll come around. But her father can't be there or… I just don't even think he'd let us in the house."

"Should we call the police?" Xander suggested.

"And that'll last for what…a week? Then he'll really tear into her." Willow lamented.

"Her father and brother are usually gone by 7:30 am. Why don't we go then. I know you had a long drive, so if you want, you can crash at our place. We have a spare room and a couch that makes out." Amanda told them.

The scoobies discussed it and agreed it would be best. They called Giles to let him know what was going on.

****

Part 8

Tara set the dinner on the table and backed away. She stood in the corner; waiting for any orders she might be given. She stood there, empty. Her eyes had no light left in them and she didn't think or feel anything. Her father and brother ate the meal and ignored her. When they finished, they stood up and walked into the living room to watch football. Tara quietly stepped forward and picked up the plates and moved them into the kitchen.

********

Willow sat on the swing porch, her mind miles away. She couldn't feel Tara anymore. Maybe she'd only imagined it to begin with. She sighed sadly. "Please be okay, Tara. I'm coming. I'll be there in the morning." She whispered. Buffy had gone for a walk. Said she wanted to see the night life. They knew what she really meant. "Gonna go see if there's any big bads around."

Xander and Anya had gone to bed early. Funny, they hadn't looked sleepy. Willow smiled. She was glad Xander had found someone. Even though Anya could be annoying sometimes, she tried to remind herself that despite her true age, Anya was still like a kid. She'd only been human for a short time, only a little longer than Dawnie. 

Amber came out on the porch carrying two cups of hot chocolate. She handed one to Willow and sat down next to her, staring up at the moon. "I can't feel her." Willow whispered. Amber looked at her. Willow stared into the darkness. 

"What do you mean?"

"I used to… I mean, I thought I could feel her. Like, a connection. But I think I imagined it, 'cause I can't feel anything."

"Nothing?"

"It's just…empty."

Amber stared hard at the girl. "Empty….or nothing?"

Willow frowned, "What's the difference. Empty and nothing are…." She stopped, thinking about it. No…they weren't the same thing. Empty. She could still feel Tara.

"She's lost." Willow realized, as a tear dropped from her cheek.

"It's going to be ok. You'll find her. You two are destined to be together. I can feel it."

*********

Tara stepped past the tossed desk, and slipped into her bed. She kept her mind empty…as empty as possible, ignoring the pain as her battered body slipped under the covers. Sometimes, she thought she could feel Willow but the thought burned her heart with loss and hopelessness. She shoved the thought out. Willow was gone. The light was gone. She had done that. She didn't deserve Willow's friendship…or her love. She was filthy, and not fit to be around anyone. Her stomach grumbled hungrily, but she ignored it. She rolled over and closed her eyes. 

******

Tara rose early the next morning. She had to fix their breakfast and lunch. She walked quietly down the hall and down stairs. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, wincing as she pressed too hard on the puffy flesh around her left eye. She pulled bacon and eggs from the refrigerator, then reached under the cabinet for the pancake mix, wincing as she did so. 

While the eggs and bacon fried, she started the coffee pot, then began making their lunch. She placed a large ham sandwhich, chips, apple, 2 pudding packs and a soda in Donny's bag. She hurried over and pulled the eggs off the stove. Wouldn't do to burn them. She quickly placed them on the two plates, then added the bacon. She measured out the pancake mix on the griddle and set the other pans in the sink.

Keeping an eye on the cakes, she made her father's lunch. When they were finished, she placed them by the door, then flipped pancakes onto the plates and carried them to the table. Donny and her father walked in and sat down. "Get the syrup! It should already be here." Donny snapped, shoving bacon into his mouth. Tara rushed to obey, grabbing the syrup and a cup of coffee for each of them. Donny grabbed the syrup, hitting the coffee cup causing it to spill on Tara's hand. Instinctively she dropped it as the hot liquid burned her, crying out. 

Donny jumped up and slapped her, "You stupid bitch! You got coffee on my pants." Tara cringed near the floor, trying to hide from him. "Eat your meal, son. Tara, get your ass upstairs and get your brother some pants to wear. If you're going to be so clumsy maybe we should just get rid of you."

Tara raced upstairs and entered Donny's room. She fumbled with the drawer then managed to open it, pulling out a pair that would match his shirt. She ran back downstairs and held them out to her brother, her hand trembling. Donny snatched them angrily, and changed. "That breakfast tasted like shit. You forget how to cook when you decided to be a dyke?" 

"I-I'm s-s-sorry."

"Stuttering freak. Why don't you get rid of her dad. What am I supposed to say to my friends when they ask why a demon is living in my house?"

"Don't worry, Donny. She won't be here much longer. I'm taking care of it. I know it hasn't been fair to you."

Tara stood there, tears in her eyes. Donny walked out the door carrying his lunch. Tara's father stood up, then walked over to her. He grabbed her by the neck and jerked her. "You ever throw coffee at my son again and I'll boil you alive."

"I-I didn't….i-it was an accident. I'm sorry."

"Shut up! Get this mess cleaned up and when I get home tonight, you have your back packed. You can take the small green suitcase and three outfits. Oh, and that stupid book your mother left you. You have it by the door and you be sitting there when I walk in the door. Do you hear me?" He yelled into her face.

"Y-yes, s-sir."

He pushed her away and snatched his briefcase and lunch, then stormed outside slamming the door behind him. Tara sank to the floor, sobbing.

Part 8

Amber and the Scoobies sat across the street watching the house. "That's the brother." Amber muttered. "No better than the dad." The boy got into his ford mustang, and peeled out. A few minutes later, Tara's father came out and got into his car, and drove off. They waited a couple minutes then exited their vehicle and raced towards the house.

Willow knocked on the door and waited, her heart pounding. She waited a few minutes more then cast nervous glances at Buffy and Amanda, before knocking again, pounding a little harder. The doorknob turned and the door opened. Willow was speechless as she saw a beautiful blonde standing there. Tara ducked her head down but not before Willow caught sight of the bruises.

"W-we…cant buy anything." Tara stammered and started to close the door. 

Amber pushed forward, "Tara, it's Amber and.."

Tara's head jerked up, pain in her eyes. "No…you can't…" She spun and raced upstairs leaving the group standing there. Buffy nudged Willow's elbow. "Go to her."

Willow looked at her friend, "But she.."

"She needs you. You need to find her." Amanda told her, giving her hand a squeeze. Willow nodded and entered the house. She took a deep breath and strode towards the stairs, and began climbing them. The others entered after her, and closed the door, taking a seat on the couch and chairs.

Willow touched the door of the first room. She could hear Tara sobbing. The door was closed, but there was no doorknob. Willow frowned. She looked down the hall and saw every other door had doorknobs. Why not Tara's room?

She tapped on the door, then pushed it open slowly. "Tara?" She said softly. She looked around. She could see the laptop smashed against the wall, the desk turned topsy-turvy. A small mostly empty bookcase and a small chest of drawers were on the other side of the bed. One picture stood on the dresser, a beautiful woman who looked like Tara. No other decoration was present. Willow called her name again, "Tara?"

"G-go away. Please. Y-you c-cant be here. He'll f-find out. P-please."

"Tara, I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

Tara rolled over and looked at her with such despair that Willow almost cried. "Leave."

"No." Willow said firmly, taking a step towards her. She froze when Tara gasped and inched back on the bed. "You don't have to be…please, don't be scared of me, Tara. I won't hurt you. I'm here to help you. You can't stay here…you don't deserve to get hurt by him."

"You don't know me. I do deserve it. You don't know what I am." Tara warned. She looked at the stranger, with her silky red hair, and passionate green eyes. She was stunning. Tara averted her eyes, staring shamefaced at the floor.

"TaraBear?" Willow said softly, taking another step.

Tara acted as though she'd been shot. She jerked to her feet and pressed against the wall. "How did…" Terror raged in her eyes.

"It's me….Willow."

Tara felt like she was going to be sick. "No. No." She sank to her knees. "No." Willow reached her and put her arms around her. "Tara." 

"No." She sobbed.

"Tara, it's ok. I'm here. Please, let me help you. Come away with us."

Tara continued to cry, "P-please don't be Willow. Willow can't see me like th-this. Please! T-tell me you l-lied."

Willow pulled Tara closer, hugging her fiercely. "I love you, Tara. I had to come. When you disappeared off ICQ…I had such a bad feeling. Like you were being hurt. I had to come. I'm so sorry. I should have come sooner."

Willow held the sobbing girl tightly, Tara soon stopped fighting, and sank into Willow, crying harder. This hurt worse than anything her father had ever done. She had said love. She heard her. But now she'd learn she was evil and she'd hate her….Willow would hate her and stare at her like she was filth.

It was some time before Tara's tears finally slowed. She almost relaxed in Willow's arms. She found herself feeling safe and not so alone. Tara gasped, and jerked away, shoving Willow from her. Not expecting it, Willow lost her grip, and Tara moved away from her, wrapping her arms around her legs. "Tara?"

"Go."

"No. I will never leave you."

"Yes you will, so go now."

"What are you afraid of Tara? What are you trying to hide. I know about your father. Maybe not everything…but enough. Talk to me."

"Go."

"No. I'm not leaving and you can't make me." Willow decided to approach this from another direction. If she couldn't make her feel safe…maybe getting her pissed off would draw her out.

"You don't know what I am. I-I don't want to h-hurt you." She looked up at Willow then. "Willow please. If you love me, leave. Forget about me."

"Forget about you? Tara. You're in my heart. There's nothing I can do about that now..even if I wanted to. I will not leave you."

"I c-can make you."

"Then do it. Make me. Come on." Willow taunted (not in a mean way).

Tara gave her a pained look, and Willow almost melted. She didn't want to hurt her. "I can….w-with one word."

"What word is that….taxes?" Willow gave her a smile.

Tara blinked and almost laughed, then frowned. "Demon."

"Demon?"

Tara nodded.

"What about them."

"I-I……I'm a demon."

"And….you think that why?"

"My f-father…."

"Your father is a demon?"

"N-no. Only…the w-women….I'm evil…you h-have to leave."

"I don't think you're a demon, Tara. I think you are deaf. I said…I'm….Not….Leaving!!"

"You don't b-believe m-me….Willow….demons are real! I'm a demon."

"I know demons are real, Tara. I've fought them."

Tara scowled at Willow, wondering if she was mocking her. Willow stared at her seriously. Willow continued, "Just like there are vampires. We fight them a lot. But contrary to popular belief…they aren't all evil. Most of them are. But not all. Well, okay, I actually only know one who isn't evil…but that's because of a curse …but that's a long story, my point is, and I really do have a point, is that not all demons are evil either. And I don't believe that demon…demonic…no, what's the word…whatever it is, I don't believe it picks the females out of the males. If you're family is of demon decent then your brother would be part demon too."

Tara looked at her and blinked. 

Willow smiled and shrugged. "I tend to run off at the mouth…Buffy and them usually shut me up and make me get to the point faster. Sorry. Did I confuse you?"

Tara nodded. "Not by what you said."

"Then what?"

"You know about demons and stuff….you fight them? Kill them?"

"Yes. The bad ones."

"Then kill me."

Willow groaned. "Stop that. I'm not going to kill you. You're not evil, I would know. In fact, come downstairs with me. Anya used to be a demon, she'll know if it's possible for only the women of a family to be a demon." Willow stood and offered a hand to Tara.

"Why won't you just leave? Why do you keep trying…?"

"Tara. I love you. I know we've only been talking online. And call me crazy, but I can't help but feel the way I do about you. We were meant to come into each other's lives."

"You were meant to date a demon?" Tara scoffed.

"Um….actually I already did that. But I didn't know he was a demon till he tried to kill me."

"What?" 

"Never mind, I'll tell you all about it sometime, did you say date?"

"Um…I meant…Y-you're c-confusing me. P-please leave."

"Do you really want me to leave? Just walk out of your house…out of your life?"

Tara's lips trembled. "Willow…"

"You don't. Do you?"

"Y-you don't understand. He'll….."

"He'll what, Tara? You're dad?"

Tara nodded, fighting the tears. "H-he'll hurt you, Willow. Please go now!"

"He can't hurt me, Tara. And he isn't going to hurt you anymore. I'm here now. And I have Buffy. He'll have to go through her first, and believe me. Many demons, vamps and monsters have tried…and failed."

Willow gently reached over and took the blonde's hand. "Come with me, hon. Please? Let me help you."

Tara still balked, unsure of what to do. She wanted to go with her. She wanted to leave. But would Willow still love her if she was a demon? Tara still didn't think she believed her.

As if reading her thoughts, Willow whispered, "I do believe you." Tara looked into her green eyes, and saw the love and concern there. "Do you trust me?" Tara blinked. Willow repeated her question, "Do you trust me?" Tara slowly nodded her head. Willow pulled her gently and Tara took a step, and then followed Willow down the stairs.

The Scoobies and Amanda looked up, then stood up slowly as Willow guided Tara down the stairs. She continued holding the frightened girls hand. "Everyone, this Tara. Tara, this is Buffy, Xander and Anya." Each one gave a slight wave as they were introduced. "And..uh…I guess you know Amanda." Willow teased. Tara gave a ghost of a smile.

"I think maybe we should get going. We can go back to my place, then when you're to go on…" Amanda suggested. "Anything you want to take, hon?"

"I cant – " Tara started.

"Hon. What you 'cant' do is remain here with a father who beats you and whatever else goes on here. This place reeks of bad vibes."

"That's not his f-fault. It's m-mine."

Willow hugged as Buffy asked, "How can that possibly be your fault? No one deserves to be hurt, Tara." Tara looked at Willow, almost pleading. Willow looked at her friends, "Her father told her that she was of demon decent…but only the women are. Anya, is that possible?"

"Of course not. Some of the genetics may skip generations, or be stronger at certain times, but it doesn't chose one offspring from another. Unless it was some kind of a curse. But that's not the same thing really. You'd just appear to be a demon, but wouldn't actually be one." Anya supplied.

"Maybe we can research and see if we can tell if she is under a curse?" Buffy asked. "Yes, I think I know of one of Giles's books that would have the correct spell." Anya told her. Then added with a distant look and a smile, "He keeps it near the safe."

Tara stared at them, unable to believe how calmly they were all taking this. "D-don't you g-get it? I'm e-evil…w-when I t-turn 20, I'm going t-to ch-change…" 

"Tara. Even if you change how you look, you couldn't be evil. It's just not in you." Amanda told her. "Witches can feel things about one another, and unless it was very well hidden, I would have felt that something was wrong with you. If there is a curse, it can be broken. The real concern here, is your father."

"Look, I know it's scary, but you'll be safe with us. We won't let him hurt you. And if you're under a curse..we'll fix that too. We've done that kind of thing before. Well, actually it sort of worked the other way around, because we had to put the curse on Angel instead of off or he'd keep – "

"Willow." Buffy and Xander stopped her ramble.

"Right. Sorry. Not helping. See? I told you I ramble." She grinned. Tara smiled back, "I kinda like it." She whispered then took a deep breath. "Th-thank you…but I just c-cant go. I-it's n-not your p-problem." 

Buffy stepped over to her. "Well it's our problem now. We're making it our problem. We can't learn that someone is being hurt and controlled by fear and just say 'oh, well, too bad,' and walk away. It's not our style. Willow is our best friend, Tara. And you're her friend…so that kinda makes you a part of us."

"But wh-where would I s-stay?"

"With us. You could go to school too. Or even at Buffy's mom's house."

"I d-don't know…"

"If you're worrying about money, don't." Amanda said, stepping forward with an envelope. "This will help you till you go to school, or even find work. Whatever you decide to do. And don't tell me you can't take it or I'll get upset. You don't want me upset do you?"

"N-no."

"Anything you want carried out? I can carry stuff…heavy stuff…I'm very manly and handy that way." Xander offered with a grin. Anya stared lovingly at him, "Yes, he is very helpful in manly ways." Xander turned beet red and everyone else laughed except for Anya, who wondered what was so funny.

"I d-don't really h-have much." Tara said quietly. Willow assured her that was ok, then went back upstairs with her to pack the few items she would be taking. When Tara only placed three sets of clothes in a small suitcase, Willow asked if she wasn't going to take her other clothes, noting that there weren't that many more.

"I c-cant. He was going t-to make me go away…I'm n-not allowed m-more."

Willow bit back a curse and began to snatch the rest of Tara's clothes. "What's he going to do with them, Tara? Somehow I don't see him wearing a flowery wrap-around skirt. He doesn't have the legs for them." Tara chuckled nervously.

Tara added her mother's picture to the suitcase, then reached under the bed for a small wooden box. "I-I want…t-to t-take this…p-please." She held it tightly in her arms, not looking directly at Willow. Willow moved towards her and put a hand on Tara's shoulder, grimacing when Tara tensed as though she were going to be hit.

Willow swallowed the lump in her throat. "Tara? I won't hurt you. And you can take anything you want, ok?" Tara relaxed slightly, and nodded. Willow closed the suitcase, and grabbed up the few remaining clothes that wouldn't fit. "Ready?" Tara nodded and trailed silently behind Willow as she descended the staircase for the last time.

Tara looked around the room. She was about to leave everything she knew. She swallowed back the fear, reminding herself it couldn't be any scarier than what she faced everyday. Amanda patted her shoulder then jumped as the front door was slammed open.

"I knew something was going on! What are you people doing in my house?" A tall furious looking man, stood there, his face red with anger. Tara cringed, "F-father…m-my f-friends.." 

"Friends?! You don't have friends. Did you tell them about you? What you are??" His voice continued raising with each question. His eyes suddenly fell on Amanda, he recognized her instantly. "You! This is your fault."

As Buffy stepped forward to berate the man, Willow pushed in front of her. "You want to talk about faults lets talk about you! A man is supposed to protect his daughter, not break her spirit and beat her. You treat her like a slave. How dare you!"

Tara's father was livid now, how dare this bitch speak to him. He moved towards Willow and raised his hand, "I'll show _you_ some manners – " Tara rushed between Willow and her father, her hands outstretched, "NO! Don't touch her!" Tara was shaking, she knew she couldn't possibly stop him, but she couldn't let him hurt Willow. Her Willow. 

Her father stared at her in surprise then looked at the others, "She's a filthy demon. In just a few months you'll all wake up dead because she ripped your throats out. But hey..you want her? Take her. She's useless." He stared into Tara's eyes. "You want their deaths on your hands?"

Tara looked away from him, "N-no."

"Tell your….'friends'….to leave. Then get up to your room. I'll deal with you later." He crossed his arms, standing there looking smug. Tara started to turn away, but Willow stopped her. "Baby? You have to come with us."

Tara whimpered, "I c-cant."

"Tara, look at me. No, look into my eyes." Willow waited till Tara raised her head. "Tell me what you want. Not what you're told to say. Not what you think he wants you to say. Tell me what you want."

"It doesn't matter what she wants! Tara, move it!" He yelled stepping towards the girl, but stopped when Buffy stepped up. "Give me a reason!" She snarled at him. Even though the girl was smaller than he was, there was something about her that caused the man to cringe inside and he took several steps back.

"Tara? Do you want to stay here?"

Tara sniffled and shook her head, then in a hushed voice added, "No."

"Then come with us. Come with me." Tara let the tears fall, and shook her head yes.

"You're not leaving here." Her father snarled, but seemed to have lost the ferocity he'd had before.

"You try and stop us, and I'll show you what the demons fear!" Buffy told him. Xander stepped over and picked up the suitcase and the group walked out of the house and crossed the street to the car.

****

Part 9

Xander took the wheel and Anya and Buffy piled in next to him. Amanda slid in next to Tara as Willow closed the trunk and climbed in behind Xander, wrapping her arm around their newly rescued innocent. As soon as the car was headed down the street, Tara was overwhelmed with relief and began crying again. She was free. She was really free…and she had Willow.

Willow held her, stroking her soft hair. "I'm here. I'm here." They drove to Amanda's house and decided to just drop her off and go on, Tara agreed that was fine. Amanda gave her a hug, "You call me if you ever need anything. I'll be coming down in a couple weeks to check on you."

"Thank you." Tara hugged her back. "For everyth-thing." Amanda patted her gently on the cheek. "You just be happy." She looked at Willow, "Take care of our girl." "Always." Willow promised. The car pulled out and made its way to Sunnydale.

**********

After talking with an advisor and counselor, Tara was allowed to start college even though it was mid-semester. She was even able to move into the dorm as a couple girls had mysteriously disappeared. Willow spent the next week showing Tara around the school, and teaching her all about the local dangers. The following weekend, they went to the Magic Box to get the book Anya had located and setup what they'd need in the basement to try and figure out if Tara was indeed cursed.

"First, we'll do this one," Willow pointed at the page, "That will give warning if a demon is present." Tara watched Willow go through the incantation. "Did it work?" She asked after awhile. "Hmmm. I think so. No warning thing is happening."

"But if it didn't work, how do you know that means anything?" Tara asked. Willow looked perplexed then brightened. "We could summon a demon."

"I-I d-don't know bout that." Tara frowned. "It's ok, we can just summon a tiny one." Willow rifled through the pages of the magical text, then went and got a different book. "Ah ha!" She exclaimed when she'd found what she wanted. "A small demon that will answer one question to the summoner."

"For?" Tara asked.

"What?"

"There's always a price, Willow. W-what does it want?"

"Oh. Well." She looked again, then turned the page slowly. "Nevermind."

"What? What did it s-say?" Tara reached over and took the book, flipping back to the page Willow had just left. She stared at the words, her mouth opened in shock. She looked at Willow then handed the book back, blushing deeply. The two girls looked at each other then started giggling. "Ok, next one." Willow said. She finally found a relatively power-less demon who'd work a mild glamour spell for a cup of Augmatium Blood. 

Willow retrieved the needed ingredients then she took her seat next to Tara. As the spell finished falling from their lips, smoke began filtering up from the floor, a small demon appeared. A mili-second later, a high pitched wailing began and echoed around the room. Tara and Willow clapped their hands over their ears, grimacing in pain. 

"Turn it off!" Tara cried out over the noise. "Wha-? I don't know how!" Willow yelled back. The poor demon screeched and clapped hands over its own ears. Deciding no cup of Augmeatium was worth the torture, it bolted, disappearing in a flash of smoke.

The ear piercing noise stopped as suddenly as it had started. The two girls slowly moved their hands down, looking at one another. "It…worked." Willow grinned. "That means you aren't a demon."

"Yet." Tara sat back down, looking sad.

"Hey, no gloomy faces. This was just the first battle…and we won. Next part will be just as good..you'll see."

Tara placed her hand over Willow's to stop her as she reached for the spell book. "W-wait." Willow looked at her questioningly. Tara swallowed. "What if….what if…it is a c-curse. And its un-unbreakable…?"

"So what if it is Tara. What are you asking?"

"I couldn't s-stand it if you…if after…"

Willow leaned over and kissed Tara lightly on the lips. "I won't. I told you I was never leaving you. And I meant it."

"But – "

"Shhh. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it…._together_."

Tara sighed and sat back, letting Willow finish. Willow spoke the words, and lit the candles. Tara could feel Willows power wafting around her. When the feeling subsided, she finally looked up at the red head. Willow just sat there grinning, looking quite satisfied with herself. "Well?" Tara asked.

"What?" Willow feigned ignorance.

"Did it work? What did you learn?"

"About what?"

Tara frowned, then narrowed her eyes as she realized she was being played with. "Did you find out what would happen if…."

"If?" Willow prompted.

"If you didn't tell me what you learned?"

Willow giggled. "Nope."

Tara moved closer. "Do you want to know? Or do you want to find out the hard way?"

"Hmmm. The hard way."

Tara lunged forward suddenly, tackling Willow and pushing her to the floor. "Last chance." She grinned wickedly. "I feel risk-takey." Tara grinned at Willow's answer and promptly began tickling her. Willow giggled and tried to escape, finally gasping she begged for mercy. Tara stopped, still leaning over the witch. "Well?"

Willow lay there panting, staring into Tara's beautiful blue eyes. "Promise me something first, Tara?" Tara frowned. "What?" Willow continued looking at her. "Whatever the answer….will you kiss me?"

Tara bit her bottom lip. It was driving her nuts, and she did want to kiss Willow. "I promise. Now talk." Willow reached her hand up and traced Tara's face. "There's no curse, Tara. Nothing. You're not a demon, you're never going to be one."

Tara sat back, shocked. She repeated the words in her head, but they didn't seem possible. "Tara?" Willow asked worriedly, sitting up.

"But…why…" Tara's eyes began to tear up. Her father had lied to her? Why would he hurt her if she wasn't bad? Her lips trembled. "What did I do? Why would he…I d-don't…" She looked at Willow begging her for answers. Willow's own eyes misted up as she pulled Tara into her arms. "I'm sorry baby. It wasn't you, ok? You father hurt you because _he_ was bad. Not you. It wasn't your fault."

"B-but…it had to be me…He wouldn't…." she felt the hot tears flowing down her cheeks, she buried herself in Willows embrace trying desperately to understand. Willow ran her fingers through Tara's hair, comforting her. "I'm sorry, hon. I'm sorry he hurt you."

They sat in the basement, holding each other. A couple hours later, Tara finally took a deep breath and looked around. "Guess we should clean up." The two worked quietly, cleaning the room and setting things back where they belonged. As they climbed the stairs, Tara suddenly pulled on Willows shirt, stopping her. "What is it hon?" Willow asked. Tara stepped up so that they were on the same step. 

Tara looked at her, and smiled. "I owe you my promise. I-if…you still w-want it?"

Willow smiled, and squeezed Tara's hand gently. "I do want…but Tara, I was just kidding. You don't have to kiss me if you don't – " Tara stopped her with a kiss, that grew warmer and more passionate as the two kissed. When they finally pulled apart, both were breathing heavily.

"Wow." Willow breathed.

"Willow?"

"Yes?"

"I….I love you."

The red head smiled, "I love you too, TaraBear."

The End 


End file.
